Dear Abby: Our neighbors, "Wanda" and "Bob," have agreed to care for our house and cat when we vacation. We told them we'd like to pay them for their troubles, but Wanda says they want to do it for free. Bob just smiles.
Judging by her body language, Wanda seemed offended when I asked her how much she'd like to be paid. I'm sure we can return the favor if they leave town, but we have the means and time to vacation more often than they do. I don't want to offend but neither do I want to take advantage. In our area, there aren't any house-watching services. I'm stumped. What's a neighbor to do in this instance? —Getting Away in Oregon
Dear Getting Away: It appears that Wanda and her husband prefer to enjoy the benefits of practicing the good neighbor policy rather than focus on monetary reward. Approach Wanda and tell her you appreciate her willingness to watch your place while you travel and reiterate that you would be pleased to do the same for her and her husband when the opportunity arises. While you are away, if you see an item you think they would enjoy, present it to them upon your return. I'm thinking something characteristic of where you have been.
Dear Abby: Our grandson is 28. We struggled a lot with him growing up. He lived with us; his parents never married. His mother went to prison for 10 years. He has a job but always asks us for money. We give him about $400 a month. My husband and I have had a lot of arguments over it.
Our grandson also has a girlfriend and four children who live with him. We are retired, and this is draining us. I feel sorry for that little family, but my own family is sinking. Any advice? —Reached the Limit in Texas
Dear Reached: Yes. Turn off the money spigot before your generosity gets you in more trouble than you are already experiencing. You have been more than generous with this grandson. You do not "owe" him $400 a month. As an adult, it is time for him to take care of his own family, just as it is with you and your husband.
Dear Abby: My company has a four-days-a-week return-to-office mandate this year. While it's nice to have the in-person camaraderie, co-workers who are conspicuously ill are now coming in and spreading their contagion. My company provides a generous two weeks of "occasional absence," which may be used for sick days, doctors' appointments and such. I am now sick at home.
These co-workers are not heroes for coming in to work with their germs, but selfish and inconsiderate. Nobody objects. I feel I should say something to our office manager. Sick of Sick Co-Workers
Dear Sick: Speak to the office manager and suggest that a memo be sent stating that if someone is feeling unwell, they should wear a mask or stay home until their symptoms subside. Many businesses do it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
