Dear Abby: I have suspected for many years that my son is gay. I don't understand why he would feel he can't talk to me about his relationships. I would love him regardless. Everything was fine when his father and I lived hundreds of miles away, but when I mentioned we might move closer, my son got upset and made it clear that he didn't want it to happen. At the time, I didn't understand why.
We moved closer anyway, and now there's an invisible curtain between us. His dad is disabled. I'm his caretaker, which can be stressful at times, but I do everything I can to take care of myself emotionally and physically so I can do it right.
My husband's dad turned out to be gay and divorced his mom. My husband is still angry at his father, which I understand. I suspect that may be one reason our son is distant. Several of his contemporaries (both male and female) have mentioned their suspicions to me. I love my son and want to be closer. I have contacted PFLAG for assistance. Can you provide me with any insight? —Trying in Virginia
Dear Trying: If your son is gay (and he may not be), it is understandable that he would stay away from his possibly homophobic father. I find it strange that any of your son's friends would make unsolicited comments to you concerning their "suspicions" about your son's sexual orientation. You were wise to reach out to PFLAG for information. It's a respected resource that I have mentioned in my column many times. But I can't help wondering why you moved closer to your son despite him indicating that he didn't want it. It may be time to give him the space to live his life in private, and because you need emotional support, seek it elsewhere.
Dear Abby: I am a 71-year-old only child who's been married for 54 years. I have a terrible habit of interrupting when my wife is speaking. I'm trying to break this habit, which is difficult after so many years.
We had a bad argument today when she asked me to watch some "funny" YouTube clips. I declined because I was doing the weekly chore of setting up our many medical prescriptions for the week. She blew up saying it was OK for me to interrupt her but not the reverse. She then went on to say how I interrupt her when she's cooking, reading, on her computer or doing other activities. I asked when a good time was to talk to her and was told maybe never. Was I out of line or did this turn into an overreaction? —Talkative Lady in North Carolina
Dear Lady: It turned into an overreaction. Interestingly, your wife did not say you interrupted her while she was speaking. She mentioned interrupting certain activities. Has it occurred to you that the two of you may spend so much time together that you are getting on her nerves? Perhaps getting out of the house separately would give the two of you more breathing room.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
