My fellow procrastinators, it has come to my attention that some of us are victims of trauma. Allow me to tell you why and how, but give me a minute. I’ll eventually get to it.
Throughout my life, I’ve had to defend myself against accusations of procrastination. It’s a hard thing to do over and over, especially considering, most of the time, the individuals levying such venomous charges against me (parents, friends, roommates, significant others past and current) have been correct. Ever tried arguing in your own defense when you know you’re wrong? Like, a lot? It gets old.
I don’t want to be a difficult person. I feel legitimately awful and angry with myself when I fail or forget to accomplish an important or even ordinary task.
My procrastination was worse when I was younger, easily distracted and not good at comprehending that putting something off was just going to make it worse and more difficult later. Sure, I knew that it was better to get something done earlier, but that bit of ethereal wisdom was no match for poor impulse control.
As I got older, I became more disciplined. Apparently, at least according to several articles and studies on the psychology of procrastination, this is normal. When our brains develop and we have more lived experience, we learn to prioritize better, and it often doesn’t feel so awful to do so. Getting something done now, rather than putting it off and having it nag at you from the back of your brain, reduces stress.
But I still struggle from time to time.
For instance, I write for a living. Sometimes, it’s an easy thing to do. Most of the time, it feels natural and enjoyable. But there are times when I’m just not feeling it, and I’ll distract myself with other work, even though I know it’s counterproductive. Thing is, the distraction doesn’t make me feel better, and I know as much.
I once described this feeling to a colleague as analogous to vomiting. I don’t feel well. I know this stuff needs to come out of me. But I also know the process toward relief is going to suck. (You can take my masterclass on the vomit writing technique for ... oh ... let’s say $500. I’m also available for career workshops.)
“Hey, idiot,†I hear you saying, “you mentioned something about trauma.â€
Oh, right. So, everyone procrastinates. It’s just a question of degree. Turns out, those who struggle with procrastination aren’t typically exhibiting or motivated by laziness. It’s a learned response and one that is sometimes triggered by past trauma.
Now, before you roll your eyes and say we’re getting too soft while cynically wondering if there are procrastination therapy dogs, it’s important to note these studies are not saying all procrastination is caused by trauma. It’s also important to keep in mind that, during childhood, as mental health advocate Chloe Morgan points out, trauma can be as severe as sexual abuse or bullying to seemingly more mundane experiences, like moving. We might not even know something is registering as traumatic when we’re children. It’s just how the brain works.
“Unfortunately, we don’t get to decide how traumatic our trauma is for us,†Morgan wrote in a piece for Medium.
There are other factors, too. Kids who grow up in environments where the fear of failure is strong might avoid tasks because of it, even if that’s a self-defeating proposition, according to Psychology Today. Fear of failure or being risk avoidant can even be genetic. And while we might outgrow or work through some of these tendencies, they can short circuit our potential later in life.
According to McLean Hospital, which specializes in mental health as part of the Mass General Brigham research network, chronic procrastinators are also likely to suffer from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (guilty of the “A†and two “Ds†at least), anxiety (yup), depression and low self-esteem (we’ve all been there, at least I have when the responses to my work roll in).
Morgan notes that, while we often focus on exploring fight or flight as our most hardwired responses to a crisis or trauma, there’s a third option that’s just as primal: freezing. Ever known someone who just shuts down? Yeah, it’s a thing. And the more that response is triggered, the more it can become a default, which can manifest as procrastination.
Across the board, experts find that this is another problem that social media has made much worse, notably because it is the ultimate distraction and is damaging to mental health. Thanks a lot, Tech Bros.
The most common recommendation for working through debilitating procrastination that I found in researching this topic is therapy, especially because the problem in adults usually involves other aspects of mental health that need to be addressed. Morgan also suggests being patient with yourself and recognizing when you’re engaging in the behavior you’re trying to fix.
I’m going to do all of that and more ... tomorrow.
