'We need you now:' New WV program connects prospective foster families with kids

“We come from addiction,� Amy, 34, said. “Generational addiction, physical, mental, sexual abuse. But we were fortunate enough for family members and friends to take us in.

“Not everybody who took us in was good all of the time. And we were separated because no one could take four.�

She married her first husband at a young age. Amy and her former husband now share custody of their son, 9, and daughter, 6. For a while before they were born, she worked in an emergency shelter — which she described as “kid jail� — that housed foster kids when there were no available homes, as well as those in need of mental and emotional treatment or going through the juvenile justice system.

“The kids that I had there were incredible,� she said. “But if they hadn’t been abused at home, they were abused in foster care, and it was hit or miss.�

Those early experiences shaped her heart, Amy said. She knew that, in addition to having her own children, she wanted to be a full-time foster parent someday.

Amy and John, 49, married in August 2020. He lost his only child, a 13-year-old boy, suddenly and unexpectedly in June 2021. As they grieved, they realized the house felt empty — especially when her own kids were not there. She began actively seeking and praying for the best place to put her energies and skills to use. A Bible verse resonated and felt like it was pointing her in a specific direction.

“It’s James 1:27. It says, ‘Pure religion is this, taking care of widows and orphans in their distress,’� Amy said.

She and John completed the state’s required training and certification, and got their first placement in September 2022: two sisters — 15 and 7 — and an 8-year-old brother. Another brother, 5, later joined them.

‘This ain’t my kid’

The state needs hundreds more Amys and Johns.

“We make it very clear to the kids when they get here, and to the parents when we meet them, that we are not trying to play mom and dad,� Amy said. “We understand our role. We are here to help.�

That first meeting with parents whose children they are fostering is awkward at best, they both said.

“We tell them we’re going to keep [their kids] safe and try to make this as fun and carefree for them as possible,� Amy said. “And we’re here to help [the parents], as well, in any capacity that we can.�

The parents for the Williamsons’ first foster placements struggled financially. The six kids were removed primarily because of the conditions in their home, Amy said. The four she and John fostered — along with two younger siblings — were reunited with their parents in February 2023. By then, both parents had secured jobs and moved into better housing. After years of moving from place to place, sometimes leaving the kids with relatives and sleeping in their car, the family has become far more stable.

Since then, John and Amy have fostered more than a dozen other children and teens, most of whom have been reunified with their biological families. The goodbyes are hard, but they are hopeful that their work will help to strengthen both the kids and their parents.

“They always have the hope that their parents are gonna be better,� John said.

The really hard part for the kids, he said, is when that doesn’t happen.

“You have to keep the mindset and know, ‘This ain’t my kid.’ Not everybody raises their kids the same way,� Amy said. “We stay in touch with the families even after the kids leave,� as long as the biological parents are comfortable with that.

‘We need you now’

“The need is urgent,� said Kathy Szafran, the executive director for Mountain Health Promise, managed by Aetna Better Health West Virginia, the primary organization that manages health and medical needs for children in foster care. “It has been urgent for a very long time.�

According to the state Department of Human Services dashboard, there are 6,111 West Virginia children in foster care. Subtracting those placed with relatives or foster parents and those undergoing specialized medical or psychiatric treatment, that leaves almost 1,000 young people housed in group homes and emergency shelters.

The average length of time for those with minimal treatment needs is 60 days. But the circumstances that led to their removal, as well as the removal itself, are often traumatic. Many of those children and teens are receiving treatment for diagnosed mental or behavioral health needs. For them, the stay is often much longer.

“West Virginia is working tirelessly to support children in the most appropriate placement,� said Whitney Wetzell, director of communications for the Department of Human Services. “Our goal is to discharge these children to a lower level of care ... as soon as is appropriate. Foster homes willing to serve older youth, or youth with a history of mental and behavioral health issues, are needed.�

Even for teens without significant needs, it’s difficult to find a foster home.

“A lot of people consider fostering and, sometimes, it takes months or years [for those who are interested] to make [that decision],� Szafran said. “To those who are interested I would say, ‘We need you; we need you now.’�

The biggest need — by far — is for people who can foster older kids and teens.

“Everybody wants the little ones, the babies, the toddlers,� Amy said. “Teens are great. They are so much easier, and people just don’t realize it.�

With that in mind, Aetna, in partnership with the Department of Human Services and foster care agencies across the state, launched its We Foster West Virginia campaign earlier this month. The program, aimed at residents who might consider fostering, is focused on communicating how badly needed foster homes are, how hard the state is working to address and resolve challenges of an imperfect system, and dispelling myths like, “You can’t foster if you’re single or rent a home,� or “You have to be wealthy to be considered.�

“What really wears on a kid is the time out of a family setting,� said Rachel Kinder, of the nonprofit Mission West Virginia, a Hurricane-based foster and adoption organization serving as a clearing agency for inquiries. “The more time they spend in an institutional environment, the harder it is to integrate them back into a family, so keeping kids in family settings is really the ideal.�

Her group typically fields about 100 inquiries per month. But they received 230 in the first three weeks of the campaign, which runs through the end of June.

A chance to change lives

For all the people who point to the stereotypical idea that foster parents are “in it for the money,� John and Amy Williamson beg to differ. The stipend that foster parents get is enough to meet the expenses,� Amy said, “but you won’t make any money by fostering.�

Even as some foster parents struggle with the idea of children they’ve come to love returning to sometimes less-than-ideal circumstances, their biological homes have almost always been strengthened during the time apart, Szafran said. It’s important to remember, she said, that poor parents can still be good parents who love their children and just needed some support to get back on their feet.

“What an opportunity these foster families have to make a difference in so many lives,� she added.

With a background of dysfunction, Amy Williamson’s own mother got pregnant with her at age 15. And while multiple family members tried to help, Amy believes things could have been different if someone in a more official capacity had helped her teen mom back then. Instead, she was the first of three children her mother had by the time she was 18, and a fourth came a few years later.

“My mom made me go to my aunt’s when I was about 11, and it’s because she said the drug dealers were asking for me,� Amy said. “I know a lot of girls whose mom gave into that, and I’m thankful mine didn’t.�

That’s the single glimmer in a dark picture. The thing people sometimes find surprising is the attachment that’s present in spite of it all. For all the struggles, for all the dysfunction, she loved her mother.

“I adored her,� Amy said, “and I adored the rest of my family.�

Amy’s entire childhood is a snapshot of the harshest realities for kids who’ve been removed from their biological parents. Not all of them have been physically or sexually abused. Not all have been intentionally harmed or suffered extreme neglect. But all of them have been through trauma, including the shock of being abruptly removed from their homes and families.

“And that’s why we do what we do,� Amy said. “We’re here to help these families get back together if they can. We just want them to have a chance.�