(BPT) - Do you have a middle schooler begging for their first phone? It's not surprising given that 70% of kids get their first phone by age 12.
If you're anxious about the idea of giving your child their first phone and the freedom that comes with it, you're not alone. In many ways, it may feel like you're letting them out into the digital unknown without a driver's license. However, no matter when you decide to take the plunge, you have the power to make the experience a positive one.
"A child's first phone is an important milestone for families," said Dr. Jacqueline Nesi, a psychologist who specializes in the impact of digital technology on kids' well-being. "This milestone moment calls for 'straight talk' — that is, honest, direct conversations between parents and children about technology use. It's the perfect opportunity to lay the groundwork for healthy digital habits in the future."
As you get ready for the fall school year, add establishing smartphone ground rules with your children to the list. To help you start this conversation, check out Dr. Nesi's five essential first phone rules.
Rule 1: Create phone-free zones
There's a time and place for phones. Before you give your child their first phone, establish phone-free zones and times. For example, you may decide that bedrooms and the dinner table are phone-free zones. You can also designate times of day, like homework time or an hour before bed, as phone-free time. Establishing these expectations can help your child focus on being present and lay the groundwork for lifelong digital well-being.
Rule 2: Set clear screen time boundaries
Establish daily and/or weekly screen time limits, including a bedtime cutoff for tech use. Once you've established these times and limits, remember to stick to these boundaries.
How much screentime to give your child will depend on a few factors like their age, schoolwork load, extracurricular activities and family responsibilities. Keep in mind that these limits shouldn't be set in stone. As they get older, you can revisit screen time limits and adjust accordingly.
Rule 3: Establish app approval process
Respecting your child's privacy while monitoring their phone activity can be challenging. However, parental controls can help you make sure your child is using their phone safely and accessing age-appropriate content.
For example, using parental controls, you can set up an app approval process. Some apps may allow you to restrict in-app purchases and content, giving you peace of mind.
Rule 4: Define consequences before problems arise
Don't wait until phone use issues crop up. Get ahead by having a frank conversation with your children about the consequences for ignoring the rules. Work with your child to establish "logical consequences," or ones that make sense based on the behavior in question. For example, if your child is ignoring screen time rules for a certain app, you might consider temporarily limiting access to that app.
And don't forget to notice when they're following the rules, too! Make it a habit to notice and praise responsible, respectful phone use.
Rule 5: Pay attention to your own digital habits
We know that parents' digital habits play an important role in shaping their children's phone behavior. So, pay close attention to what you're modeling, and ensure you're allowing plenty of time for phone-free time together with your child.
Start the conversation today
Use these five rules as a starting place for establishing your family's phone agreement. Consider using the "First Phone Pact" made by Dr. Nesi in collaboration with Straight Talk Wireless — a leading prepaid brand covered by Verizon's 5G network — as a roadmap for this discussion. The simple fill-in-the-blank prompts and multiple-choice answers help you build a phone pact together, establishing boundaries that work for your family.
Add a phone to your back-to-school supplies list
If you're ready to buy your child their first phone, take advantage of the following Straight Talk Wireless deals before Oct. 19, 2025.
Samsung A26: $99 (save $100) with $55+ monthly plan
iPhone Options: $50 off iPhone 14, 15, 15+, 15 Pro and 16e with $55+ plan activation
Moto G 5G (128GB): FREE with $55+ plan activation (new lines or upgrades)
Plan details: $55 monthly plans include unlimited talk, text and data
The downloadable First Phone Pact template is available in English and Spanish. For more information, visit thefirstphonepact.com.
