I told myself I’d write something cheerful this week. Oops. Maybe next week.
Somebody told me they’re “offended†by a piece I wrote in the Gazette-Mail criticizing men. Oh well. Still needs said. If nobody else writes it, I will.
Let’s clear up some confusion around workplace harassment. Some men say they’re scared to talk to women at work. Scared to cross a line. Walking on eggshells. Really?
Here’s the law: The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission says it’s illegal to harass someone because of their sex. Simple. Clear.
Harassment starts when men treat women differently than men.
Would a man lean close to another male co-worker and whisper about his body? Hover over his desk? Discuss his clothes? No? Well then, don’t do it to women.
Unsure what is inappropriate? Don’t flirt. Problem solved. Deal with romance somewhere else. A smile from a woman is not a green light. Silence isn’t a yes.
Men get harassed, too. Yes, workplace bullying happens across the board. But most bosses are still men. That power can be used to threaten. Women are gaining ground in middle management. Not much in higher positions.
West Virginia has the highest number of workplace sexual harassment charges per capita. Enraging. Is our misogyny that prolific? Nationally, over half of American women experience workplace harassment. Some men, too.
According to the National Women’s Law Center, 72% of women out of roughly 3,000 they studied faced retaliation when filing reports. Demotions. Terminations. For this reason, few file complaints. Silence is job security. Women painfully endure toxic and unsafe work environments to feed families.
This topic never goes away, unfortunately. Nationally. Locally. It keeps emerging. At this point it’s like sexual harassment is a prerequisite for a man running for office. It's that common. Disgusting.
When a Democrat is accused, the left excoriates them. A Republican? The GOP deflects, defends, denies. Horrible. Still, I feel a sad pang when someone talented self-sabotages their life.
And I felt it listening to an audiobook by Sherman Alexie.
I recently finished Alexie’s outstanding memoir, "You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me." It’s a heart-breaking story about his mother and growing up indigenous.
When finished, I researched books he’d published since, eager for more. There was nothing within the past decade from this prolific literary giant. Then I read why. Nearly a dozen women accused him of sexual harassment. They were fellow writers. Work colleagues. I wished for more books. He’s one of my favorites. His career was incinerated. He will likely never publish again. Tragic. For him. For them. For all of us.
So, get with it, men. It’s simple. If you wouldn’t say something to a man, don’t say it to a woman. If you wouldn’t touch a man, don’t touch a woman. If you wouldn’t comment on a man’s body, don’t comment on a woman’s.
Women deserve to feel safe at work. When we get this right, everyone wins. Let’s do it.
